


For I would Lose Myself

by thelesliefics



Series: Blessings From Hell [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Angst, Blood and Injury, Crack, Domestic Fluff, Gun Violence, Guns, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Torture, Kissing, M/M, Minor Character Death, Multi, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Swearing, Teleportation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:21:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25363069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelesliefics/pseuds/thelesliefics
Summary: Yukhei could see right through her. She wasn’t going to change until someone taught her a lesson.And Yukhei had never been one to teach.OrA slice of Ten’s new life with Kun and Yukhei.
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Qian Kun, Qian Kun/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Wong Yukhei | Lucas/Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten
Series: Blessings From Hell [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1833772
Comments: 3
Kudos: 37





	1. My rising sun

**Author's Note:**

> Read the tags carefully. This takes places before the first part of this series. There is Minor character death, so if that bothers you please don’t read this. To everyone else : Enjoy!

Growing up, Ten’s mom only ever told him about his Guardian Angel. Every night before going to sleep, he would pray to his Angel, expressing his gratitude and wanting so badly to meet him.

He knew it wasn’t uncommon for people to meet their Guardian Angels. He even knew of a couple rare cases where people actually _lived_ with their Angels.

The day Ten turned 18, his Guardian Angel manifested himself in his room. 

He was beautiful. More divine than he could ever imagine. His wings ethereal, and strong. His eyes kind, and lips soft, a soft ring of light adorning the crown of his head. 

This was Kun. His life companion. 

Kun had opened Ten’s eyes to a whole new world. He learned about Heaven, about what it was really like. He learned about Kun’s tasks as his Guardian, about his powers, about his dreams, his ambitions. 

He learned about his fears.

And he learned about Yukhei. 

Kun explained to Ten that everyone had 2 Guardians : One Angel and one Demon.   
They both had tasks, different in nature, but with the same ultimate goal of keeping their designated person safe. 

Kun explained that while he could sense harm as it was about to happen to Ten, Yukhei could sense bad intentions. He could sense whenever there was a person that was planning to harm, hurt, or damage, Ten, in any way. 

Yukhei’s job was a simple, Ten had learned. He found the bad intention, and got rid of it. Keeping Ten untouched. 

How Yukhei executed his job, Ten didn’t really know, and Kun didn’t really want to tell him. 

All Ten knew was that now, he needed to meet his Guardian Demon. He had so many questions. He wanted to know about Hell, about what it really looked like, about Yukhei’s dreams, his ambitions, and his fears. 

Ten wanted to show his gratitude and appreciation to Yukhei for keeping him safe for so long. 

He came to realize, that the reason he had never heard of his Guardian Demon, or anyone’s at all, was because they were reduced to nothing more than monsters. While Angels were praised, worshipped and honored, Demons were feared, condemned, and despised, shunned to carry out their tasks in secret, hidden in the shadows of the world.

Parents didn’t tell their children about their Guardian Demons. They didn’t teach them to pray to them, to be thankful for what they did for them. 

Kun had explained that night, that Guardian Demon’s were once Angels too. They had just fallen, exiled from the heavens and given a human to protect with their lives. 

Those who chose to go through with their pension would be offered a chance back into heaven. Only after a life time of protecting their human. 

Yukhei has lost his halo, Ten realized. And if he wanted to go back home, he had to protect Ten until he died. 

“I want to meet him.” He had told Kun, eyes sharp, determined, and unwavering. 

Kun had felt his heart break at the realization, that he wasn’t going to be able to protect Ten forever. 

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

_My Guardian Angel, my sweet company, do not forsake me, neither by night nor by day. Do not leave me alone, for I would lose myself…”_

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Yukhei burst through door of one of the most busted apartments he’d ever seen, the termite infested door breaking upon contact with his boot.

He could’ve easily teleported inside the room, but he always liked to put on a little show. 

Staring at him with wide eyes, and a spoon held up in defense, was a young man, about 19, Yukhei estimated. 

Signature mole under eye, full lips, and perfect hair. 

Yeah, this was who Yukhei was looking for, Hwang Hyunjin.

Yukhei grinned at Hyunjin, his sharp teeth flashing with purpose. “Do you know Ten Lee?” He asked, holding a picture of Ten between his long fingers.

Hyunjin seemed to have regained access to his brain cells. He gasped, “Dude! You just broke my door what the fu-”  
“Do you know….” Yukhei interrupted, eyes sharp. “..Ten Lee?”

Hyunjin’s blood ran cold. Uneasiness filling his mind. Of course he knew Ten Lee. He was assigned a mission to get rid of him by next week. One shot to the head they instructed. It was supposed to be an easy mission. 

Hyunjin looked at the picture of Ten, and Yukhei could read him like a book. This was Ten’s hitman. Someone was paying this teenager to kill Ten. For what? Easy money? College debt, maybe? For fun? To move out of this crusty apartment ? Who knows.

Whatever reason Hyunjin had for doing what he was doing, Yukhei wasn’t interested.

Yukhei sighed, putting the picture of Ten back in his pocket. “I guess if you dont wanna talk there’s no reason to stall anymore, Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin gaped at Yukhei. A million questions running through his head. “Who are you? How do you know my name? Who sent you? What-”

Yukhei raised an eyebrow at him. “You sure have a lot of questions. I’m sorry I can’t answer them, it would be a waste of time, and time is precious to me.” 

Yukhei took out a Pistol, 9mm calibre, Hyunjin noticed, the same one he was saving to use for his mission. 

Hyunjin’s heart beat loudly in his chest, blood rushing to his head, his lips dry. Fuck, he was fucked. 

Yukhei aimed the gun at Hyunjin’s head. Unwavering, experienced. “Any last words, Hwang Hyunjin?”

Hyunjin’s body was wrecked with tremors, his vision blurry, he wanted to run, to scream, to apologize, anything- “I-I don’t know Ten Lee! I promise! I have no idea what you’re talking about, y-you’ve got the wrong guy!” Hyunjin exclaimed, voice shaky, eyes crazy with fear, his hands up in surrender. 

“You’re lying.” Yukhei replied calmly. 

A gun shot echoed through the neighborhood that night. But with the 4th of July coming next week, no one could really distinguish it from the many fireworks that went off every night. 

Yukhei positioned the pistol next to Hyunjin’s hands. This was going to look like a suicide. 

As he turned to exit the tainted apartment, he patted himself on the back. It had been a while since he fired a gun. And he didn’t even miss! 

One shot to the head. Easy mission.

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

The day Ten met Yukhei was the day Ten’s entire world shifted.

Yukhei was tall, charming, and absolutely gorgeous.

Yukhei’s eyes were sharp, kind and dangerous, hints of red mixing with the honey of his irises, a tainted glass window to the emotions and insecurities Yukhei held in his gaze. 

His skin was burning hot to the touch, Ten had learned. A soft glow emitting from it, as if there were thousand suns underneath his golden skin. As if all the flames in the world were contained within him.

He was absolutely stunning. Breathtaking. The most mesmerizing being Ten had ever had the blessing of seeing since Kun.

“You can call me Xuxi.” Yukhei had told him, his eyes watching Ten carefully. 

Ten smiled up at Yukhei shyly, “Xu..Xi…” It rolled off his tongue nicely. “What does it mean?” 

Yukhei raised his eyebrows at sudden question. No one had ever asked him that. No one had ever shown interest in him at all actually.

Yukhei cleared his throat. “Um, it has a couple meanings…” He hesitated, unsure of how much Ten wanted to know. 

Ten stayed silent, eyes focused, waiting for more. 

Yukhei looked away, he was sure he was turning red, the fire in him rising tall at the attention. “The first part means brilliance, rising sun… and the second means bright, splendid, glorious..” he explained quietly, voice fading at the end.

Ten’s eyes held so much emotion Yukhei didn’t know what to do with it. His eyes could be the Universe with the amount of light he held in them. 

“Xuxi… that’s a beautiful name.” Ten beamed. “Why do you go by Yukhei?” 

Yukhei felt his smile falter a little at the question. Xuxi was the name given to him by the divine. Xuxi was the name of an Angel. Yukhei was the name he was to use now. The name of a demon. 

Ten could see Yukhei struggling to answer his question. 

“You know you can tell me anything, Xuxi, I won't judge you, ever, you're everything to me, you know that? You mean so much to me.” Ten pouted. His words were sincere, his eyes honest. 

Yukhei let out a heavy breath and swallowed the lump in his throat. His hands balled into fists at his sides, face hanging low, refusing to look at Ten.

“Xuxi was my Angel name…” He explained, eyes tracing the patterns of the wooden floor in Ten’s apartment. “I go by Yukhei now.” 

Ten was quick to answer, “Well, Xuxi or Yukhei, you're still my guardian, and you're still an Angel, you just fell right ?” 

Yukhei hummed, eyes locked to the floor. 

“I can help you get back up Xuxi. You won't be fallen forever. You’re still Xuxi. _My_ Xuxi.” Ten continued, a loving smile evident through his voice. 

He reached out to cup Yukhei’s face, in a sign on reassurance, of support, of admiration.

Yukhei flinched, pulling back urgently, as if Ten was the fire threatening to burn him. 

Ten winced at the pain coming from his hand. It felt like he touched a scathing hot pan or something. He would know, he’s never been too careful when cooking. 

“I’m sorry,” Yukhei let out, the glow on his skin dimmer, like clouds covering the sun. “I didn’t mean to, I just, I can't control it, my skin is just-”

“Amazing.” Ten murmured. His eyes scanning Yukhei’s skin, the parts he could see. His face, his neck, his hands.

Yukhei’s breath hitched, and he felt like he couldn’t breathe anymore. His lungs had decided today was the day they retired. 

“What?” He breathed out. 

“Xuxi,” Ten said clearly, looking directly at Yukhei, his gaze strong. “You’re amazing. I’m so lucky to have you.”

And in that moment Yukhei wondered if heaven was worth returning to.


	2. Accept your fate

Kun was losing his mind. It was 11:20am and Ten had told Kun and Yukhei to _please don't be late_ and considering that they had to be at Ten’s school by 12:00pm, Kun was convinced they were going to be late.

Yukhei, on the other hand, didn’t have an ounce of worry on his mind.

Yukhei had spent the majority of the morning ranting about how he believed all clothes should be demon proof, proceeding to showing Kun his vast collection of fireproof and heat resistant clothes, all impressively stylish of course.

Kun made sure to snatch a couple shirts and hoodies for Ten and him to wear during their cuddle movie nights. 

Yukhei hadn’t finished getting dressed yet, facing the mirror in front of Kun’s bed, making sure to treat each button on his shirt with the utmost care. “I have to be careful Kun, these clothes are like 10 times more expensive compared to the ones available for you to wear.” He replied, in response to Kun whining about the time for the upteenth time. 

“Xuxi, I just don't want to be late, Ten really wants us to be there, and I would hate to disappoint him.” Kun explained from his position on the edge of the bed, making eye contact with Yukhei through the mirror. 

Yukhei chuckled, deep in his throat, tying his velvety red tie, vibrant against his black shirt. 

Kuns eyes lingered on Yukhei’s wide shoulders, allowing them trail down his muscled back to his narrow hips and thick thighs. 

Yukhei was carved like a statue. Made to be worshipped. Prominent and defined. Absolutely breathtaking. Kun hated to voice it, but _god_ , Yukhei was so attractive.

“Kun,”

Yukhei’s deep voice snapped Kun out of his thoughts, meeting Yukhei’s eyes again through the mirror.

Yukhei had obviously caught Kun staring, his lips pulled into a teasing smirk, the fire in his gaze burning a little hotter. 

Yukhei turned around to face Kun, walking towards the edge of the bed, until he stood between Kuns legs, Yukhei’s thighs against the duvet on Kun’s bed.

Kun was glad his bed had a tall frame. Sitting up straight like he was his head could reach Yukhei’s chest perfectly. 

Except Yukhei had something else in mind, his large gloved hand on Kun’s chest gently guiding Kun to lay flat on his back. Kun’s head hit the bed with a thud, and he debated between looking at the demon between his legs and closing his eyes. 

This was ridiculous, Kun wasn’t sure how Yukhei did what he did, but fuck, did he do so much to Kun.

“Did you like what you saw?” Yukhei teased, humor laced in his voice. 

“No comment...” Kun replied, face hot with a blush. Kun brought his hands up from his sides to cover his face, only to have them removed by a hot hand and pinned gently above his head. 

Yukhei had positioned himself on top on Kun, resting on one elbow, the other holding Kun’s delicate wrists securely. Caging Kun against his bed, his body pressed against Kun’s smaller one, leaving Kun completely under the mercy of Yukhei’s hot body.

Kun had never been this close to Yukhei before, and he wasn’t sure if he was proud or ashamed of that fact. From this close, the heat radiating from Yukhei’s body was overwhelming, as if trying to absorb Kun entirely. 

Kun was an Angel, and he knew he could take more heat than humans could before it caused serious damage, and right now, looking at Yukhei’s lips, he wondered how long he could kiss him for. 

Yukhei leaned down to kiss Kun’s cheek. Just a quick peck, the heat lingering longer than the kiss itself. Yukhei smiled down sweetly at Kun, and when Kun felt Yukhei release his wrists, he did what anyone with a brain would do.

He swung his arms around Yukhei’s neck and pulled him into a fiery kiss, using his tongue to lick into Yukhei’s mouth quickly, not wasting any time. Yukhei groaned and kissed back softly, letting Kun’s sweet mouth devour him. 

The heat of Yukhei’s lips against his was maddening, he couldn’t get enough, the fire burning inside of him consuming him whole, becoming one with Yukhei’s. 

Burning alive didn’t sound so bad right now, and if this was how Kun was to die, he might just accept his fate.

Suddenly, the heat was gone, Yukhei completely pulling away from Kun, leaving him breathless, his lips raw.

“Are you okay ?” Yukhei asked, worried eyes scanning Kun’s body for injury.

No, Kun was not fine. He had just made out with a demon and it turned out to be the best kiss he’d ever had during the entirety of his fucking existence. He had just experienced a passion so _fucking good_ he was _this_ close to losing all common sense and begging Yukhei to give him more. 

To give him everything.

“Yeah, I’m okay…” Kun sat up slowly on his bed, meeting Yukhei’s eyes hesitantly. “I’m sorry, I s-shouldn’t have done that.” 

Yukhei smiled gently at Kun, the fire still evident, contained behind his eyes. “We’re going to be late if you keep pouting like that. You look so kissable when you do that.” Yukhei said, eyes fixed on Kun’s lips. 

“You look kissable all the time, actually.” Yukhei continued, walking towards the pile of clothes on Kun’s lounge chair, picking up his favorite wool coat, and putting it on swiftly. “Like I could devour you and you’d let me.”

Kun had about 2 seconds to regain his composure before Yukhei suddenly pulled him close, teleporting them with a loud crack, leaving behind a cloud of dark smoke in Kun’s room.

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Ten wasn’t one to bring attention to himself, but with Yukhei being the only Guardian Demon present, it was kind of difficult to blend in with everybody else. 

Some of his classmates gazed with wonder, some with disgust, and some of the other Guardian Angels stared gazed with fear, _some with lust?_ , Ten couldn’t really tell, there was a little bit of everything, and all he knew was that all the attention was on _them_. 

It was _Bring you Guardian to School day_ at Ten’s University and Ten had been really excited to bring his Guardians. Maybe he should’ve specified that he had _two_ Guardians he was bringing to this event. 

That way an extra chair would’ve been provided for Yukhei and he wouldn’t have had to sit on Ten’s desk.

Large, proud and stunning. 

His midnight black attire with a spicy red tie wasn’t helping him blend in with the sea of navy uniforms and light clothing all the Angels were wearing. 

Did Angels not wear black ? Was it against their dress code or something ?

He didn’t recall Kun wearing any black until Yukhei started visiting. 

Professor Lee, the host of this event, cleared his throat, attempting to regain everyone’s attention.

“Thank you all for attending our annual _Bring Your Guardian to School day_ ,” Professor Lee began, voice loud and clear. “I am pleased to see that this year, we had more people show up with their Guardians. It is important for us to form a close bond with those who risk their lives to protect us, and keep us safe.”

Ten glanced up at Yukhei and Kun gave Ten’s thigh a squeeze. 

“This event will give guardians the opportunity to talk to professors, be shown academic accomplishments, and a familiarize themselves with our campus.” Professor Lee explained, voice steady, eyes gentle. “Without further a due, please, feel free to make the best of this opportunity.”

The room quickly filled with chatter, students meeting their friends and introducing them to their Guardians. 

A couple curious eyes turned to Ten, and that’s when Ten knew, he fucked up.

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

Ten was frustrated, fed up, and just over all drained. He had underestimated his classmates ability to test his patience. 

Ten, Yukhei and Kun had spent a good chunk of the event swarmed by classmates and Guardians, who were apparently demon starved, and had no manners or common sense whatsoever.

So many questions were thrown at him and Yukhei, some which weren’t at all appropriate to ask. Kun was basically ignored during the whole event, except when another Angel approached him to ask him something along the lines of _Are you out of your mind?_

It got tiring really quickly. 

_“Does he bite? Can he talk?”_

_“OMG are you guys dating ?”_

_“Satan worshipping bitch !”_

_“You’re totally going to go to hell...”_

_“Why dont you have him on a leash?!”_

_“He looked at me!”_

Yukhei didn’t really know what to do with the unwanted attention, and had resorted to growling at everyone who tried to touch him, Ten or Kun, eyes flashing red to get his point across. 

Ten’s head was starting to hurt, and he was about to ask Yukhei to get them out of there, when a pair of delicate hands slammed on his desk. Ten looked up, startled, only to be met with Yuqi, an ugly scowl on her face. 

She leaned in close to Ten, her breath coming out hot against Ten’s skin when she spoke, like a dragon breathing fire. “You’re such an attention whore Ten. Pulling this little stunt bringing a rabid demon to class just to have everyone notice you.” 

Yukhei let out an animalistic rumble and Ten reached out to grab Yukhei’s gloved hand, hot in his hold. 

Ten stared up at Yuqi, gaze unwavering. 

Yuqi was a bully and a bitch, there wasn’t much to it really. She was a spoiled brat with a rich daddy who threw a tantrum whenever the attention wasn’t on her. Ten wasn’t really fazed because he knew Yuqi was all talk and no bite. 

“Don’t think I don't know what you’re doing, Lee.” Yuqi spat out. “You’ve been getting on my nerves since middle school. It’s about time you learned your place. Take this as a warning, next time I won't be so kind.” She threatened, giving Ten a dirty look. “You’re lucky to even be here today, I was positive you would’ve been gone by now.” Yuqi grumbled under her breath.

Yukhei stood up abruptly, realization washing over him like cold water on his skin.

Kun stood up as well, his eyes flickering between Yukhei and Yuqi.

Yukhei locked eyes with Yuqi, and suddenly he could read her like a book. 

Yuqi’s gaze was challenging, “What are you looking at, demon?” She spat out.

“Hwang Hyunjin.” Yukhei said. 

Yuqi’s breath hitched. “...What?” 

“Hwang Hyunjin, 19, pretty face, black hair, mole under his right eye, ring any bells?” Yukhei breathed out, his gaze fiery with intent. 

Yuqi’s eyes widened at the bells ringing loudly in her mind, a shudder running through her spine violently.

The people around them were rumbling, harsh whispers clashing with the tense athmosphere. 

Yuqi needed to keep her front up. 

“What are you talking about? You must be crazy.” She retorted, licking her lips nervously.

That tongue, Yukhei noticed. It gave her the gift of speech and yet she abused that privilege by convincing her daddy to give her money so she could hire a young hitman to fulfill her petty desires. 

“Asking for mercy is going to be _really_ difficult without your tongue.” Yukhei said, voice deep, eyes flashing a devil red. “But I’d like to see you try.”

Yuqi’s eyes widened at the demon's implications, fear washing over her. She tried to keep her composure, cocking her head indignantly, before storming off shakily, face paled in terror. 

Yukhei could see right through her. She wasn’t going to change until someone taught her a lesson. 

And Yukhei had never been one to teach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on Twitter @thelesliefics // Comments appreciated! Thank you !

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Twitter @thelesliefics // Comments appreciated! Thank you !


End file.
